This crazy gift called life!

Sunshine trickling lazily through the leaves, alighting softly upon my skin and the soft breeze sifting gleefully through my hair. Lying listlessly upon the ground, my thoughts meandering happily like a butterfly amidst the blooms. Above me, a bird crosses in flight, my mind breaks its course to ponder his thoughts... The sun drops quietly over the horizon, as the moon settles into lighting the night. I watch the first stars wink serenely into sight... the animals settling in  for a long respite. The fireflies dance lazily through the air, seemingly without a care... Peace pervades this nightly scene, as I close my eyes and drift off to dream.

Gnawing and ruminating upon my conscience. The guilt pervading my dreams. Tears saturating my face, despair purchasing my soul... The full narrative was not  visited upon my ears; full of unbearable plot twists that garner fear. Uncertainty perches upon my shoulder, grinning gleefully at my tremors. Staring cagily amongst the shadows... my eyes search vehemently for imperceptible foes. Praying zealously for the shadows to recede, and the sun to shine anew once again.

Your love is the comfort of sunshine upon my skin. Your smile, my homecoming. My heart races in awe of this masterpiece between us. Gazing into your eyes and realizing this is what love looks like. The beating of your heart the very echo of my own. Fingers lacing with mine, completing, mi sueno...my dream. Knowing that when all else has fallen at our feet, we still stand strongly upon the horizon. The feeling of contentment fades, as opening my eyes, I become aware of my penchant for wistful thoughts... And a sigh escapes  amidst the tears.

The sun has set upon your love. Twilight hearkens nearer, to remove all remaining essence of emotion. Stars appear and wink coldly upon my face. The solitude of night making the loss more poignant. Staring desolately  across moonlit fields, heart torn and soul shattered upon the rocks of despair. I sit numbly, all happiness ebbing from my eyes, quietly awaiting my fate.

Where have you been? Who are you seeing? Questions firing, as you're grabbing my hair and pulling. I'm forced into helplessly following. Sliding closer to the edge, you're just about to break. I whimper after a vicious yank. As I hit carpet,  your blade appears from your coat... the tip caressing and dancing across my throat. A line of blood appears along its downward journey... Blade slitting skin open, like honey. Pain, sharp and stinging... My child lies helplessly within; silently sleeping. Struggling, fighting, screaming, pleading... Through your drunken haze, comprehension starts to rise... Safe, my little one, safe... you will still be allowed life.

From afar, I watch thine burnished hair glisten as,  by the sun, it is lovingly kissed. The fine form of your body is poetry in motion. I long to caress that smooth, glistening skin and hear thy deep voice break upon my ears. I dream of having my humble countenance graced by thine smile. Oh, to have you take my hand and pull me into thine arms, so that I might rest my head upon thy heart... Someone jostles past on their journey, and, once again, my daydream shatters like glass...

You wish for poetry and prose, to enjoy the rhyme and meter of how it flows. What you fail to see, tis' my heart within this book ... My inner thoughts out for a look... MY SOUL IN INK. Those pretty little words you seek? My emotions immortalized for all the world to see... To let them do as they will with me. To criticize or acclaim... Oh! To be felled BY A PEN!

Not a true love... rather a love born of desperation. A kind thought or word upon which to grasp. A glimmer of joy to be had in a time of great despair. Someone who believes in you, and fosters your hope in yourself. Any bit of happiness to be kept and brought out again later to treasure, when once again alone... Until, at last, life brings you that which you have been searching for... Then, behind you will leave your old inspiration and move on to more...

I hold memories of your touch covetously within my mind. Do they enslave your thoughts as they do mine? Wishing fervently for  your kisses upon my lips; the sound of your cries  within my ears... Are these things consuming your mind? I've a feeling of being alone in this craving... Once again harboring emotion not befitting the rules. My fondest dream you have always been... destined to never be mine. Cherishing every brush of skin, every beautiful smile... stored within my heart for when you tire of me. Every sweet word saved, inside my mind, for the darker times ahead. My soul leaves  with your step, heartbeat ceasing with your disinterest. I watch with lingering emptiness as you step upon the walls constructed by me... leaving me stunned and breathless.  

The danger is in the similarity, drawing within you a false sense of security. The sameness of two beings setting heart aflutter. A shared psyche offers a promise of understanding. The problem arises when you realize it's an untruth.. in that moment, your body awakens to soul-shattering devastation. Your happiness is cut, like a thread of fate, before your very eyes. You breath is robbed and you have no wish to get it back. Your skin becomes naught but a husk. Your heart- an infinitely painful pyre, upon which your rejected love, forever burns.

SPASMS OF PAIN GRIP MY BODY TIGHTLY. MY HEART DOESN'T SEE  A REASON TO KEEP FIGHTING... I FEEL PERFORATED  AND DESOLATE; MY MIND REFUSES TO PROCESS IT. AS MY WORLD TINGES AN AWFUL SHADE OF GREEN, I WATCH YOU TAKE HER HAND AND WALK AWAY FROM ME.

The poison of fairy tales is aspiring to live within one... To chance upon a chivalrous knight, who shall love only you as each day blends to night. To live happily ever after without feeling unhappy or vexed... this is virtually impossible, at best! To burden another with this unbelievable task, is cruel unfairness behind a gilded mask. One must look within to find contentment that lasts!

So many facets to your soul, which one will I despair losing most? Your compassion and caring for those hurting and lost? Your nobility for fighting for your beliefs no matter the cost? Your strength while facing impossible odds...alone? Your intelligent wit unequaled, so far as I've found? Your heart of gold...going that extra mile to bring out someone's smile? Or, just you being you, bettering the world, all the while?

I'm crawling on my knees, why won't the pain subside? You follow screaming curses and kick me to the side. What have I done this time?  I struggle to rememeber. Pain blooms across my eye, soon followed with a crack like thunder. The blissful blackness is working now, to try and pull me under... I long to embrace its sweet, quiet kiss, but I don't wish for my life to end like this. So, quietly, I lay upon the floor; hearing your footsteps echo toward the door. Blissful quiet invades this empty space... At least, now, I can slip quietly into eternal rest.