This crazy gift called life!

The beauty of having Always been a ghost, Is it does not matter When you are forgotten, Since you've never become Accustomed to being remembered. The acceptance of always being An afterthought, Just seems like a part of who you are. Knowing only that it makes you Meticulous about treasuring the needs of others, So they need never Adjust to this way of thought. When your favorite color is grey, Chosen because it accurately portrays Who you've always been... A spectre... Always fading silently into the shadows. Leaving those around you curiously pondering What they are forgetting.

Grey-green and sky blue gazes meet, Two souls caressing across space. The adoration in that connection  Permeates the air of the room. Like magnets, they are helplessly drawn To the proximity of the other. Fingertips reaching to touch,  To caress what they have each claimed as their own. Craving the completeness  That only comes when their bodies are fused as one.  Each knowing they could  Never belong to another... Their tethered souls would never survive without its mate. Each meeting of their lips, A testament to the love between them. The echo of their heartbeats, A symphony heard only from soulmates... The sound of two souls  Intertwined for eternity.

Missing my sunshine   Smiling upon my skin. The warmth of his gaze Heating my soul from within.  Craving his arms  And they way they make  My broken pieces align perfectly again.  Missing the way his blue eyes Always resemble the most beautiful of summer skies. His laugh emitting the purest vibration As it dances across my skin. Missing the silky caress of his kiss Against my wanton lips... I am missing all of him.

Disrobing,  I stare at myself in the mirror Wondering what you would see  if you were next to me, Knowing I couldn't blame you  if you turned and walked away. I see the sagging of age  Where the suppleness of youth once reined. The wrinkles and uneven tone  of my once peaches and cream skin. Remembering how softly toned my stomach was now ravaged by time and motherhood. Wishing you could have known me  when I had the beauty of smooth,  unmarked skin to offer you.  Knowing I can only remedy the damage  to a certain degree, I grit my my teeth and wish for the best.  Hating that I can't help feeling this way.

Feeling your stress through our connection,  As though it were my own. Struggling to fight my natural need to soothe you... Knowing you are out of my reach. The torture is sensing when you need me And being helpless in the face of it. Longing to assuage your mind by whatever means necessary,  Whether in my arms or merely talking through your uneasiness.  Exhausting myself to the point of blissful black oblivion To dull my protective instincts.  Still, I would always choose this over the option of you missing from my life.

As if feeling my loneliness tonight, Your soul burrows in next to mine.  I wonder if it senses my craving for your presence or, If I unconsciously pull it to me  with the tether that binds us. Do you feel it leave, as I do mine, When it traipses off to sit by your side?  I am comforted by the feeling  Of warmth that surrounds me, When your soul is here. Those are the nights I know that   no shadows will enter my dreams. Snuggling your shirt more closely around me,  I softly run my fingers across the fabric,  wishing softly it was your skin. I lie here idly wondering if my warmth transfers to you through our connection, If our tether comforts you as it often does me. It has been my lifeline on nights   I wanted nothing more than  to cradle you close to me until you fell asleep.  Whispering "I love you" in my mind and hoping it will reach across the miles,  I close my eyes, pull your soul closer,  and wish for sleep.

A quiet evening spent  Cocooned in thoughts of you My hands sliding, at turns,  softly then aggressively over my skin... Your voice drifting through my mind, Directing my actions The presence of your soul  joining with mine Cherishing every touch and whispered word as though gifted directly from my Master, my Love. Unaware of the passage of hours As I am lost so completely in us.

Mine The most beautiful word to ever cross your lips.  The connotation encompasses  everything I have ever wanted.  That one word, when said by you, blends your love, desire, and acceptance  for a woman who has been bereft of all three.  I am scarcely able to control myself  when that word is delivered in your voice. I long to know what it tastes like on your lips. To feel your body tighten to pull me close And reassure me I am always safe  when surrounded by your arms. Knowing, with that word hanging in the air between us,  That you are my shield  when I am unable to defend myself. To a girl who has never warranted  being completely claimed by anyone,  "You're Mine" means everything.

A tightness to my skin An insidious feeling in my mind  that something is out of sync... The feeling is inside my mind yet, Not mine. It's been plaguing me... Causing my stomach to churn And an empty feeling in my chest. What is causing this?  It's nearly driving me mad with worry.