Insecurity

Disrobing, 

I stare at myself in the mirror

Wondering what you would see

 if you were next to me,

Knowing I couldn't blame you 

if you turned and walked away.

I see the sagging of age 

Where the suppleness of youth once reined.

The wrinkles and uneven tone 

of my once peaches and cream skin.

Remembering how softly toned my stomach was

now ravaged by time and motherhood.

Wishing you could have known me 

when I had the beauty of smooth, 

unmarked skin to offer you. 

Knowing I can only remedy the damage 

to a certain degree,

I grit my my teeth and wish for the best. 

Hating that I can't help feeling this way.