Diary of the Other

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I never thought I would fall so deeply in love with someone that I would be fundamentally rewired. Everything has become about him. My life, my every breath, is his. I am so lost when we are apart...my body feels hollow and I can feel the tug of my soul leaving to be next to his side. The happiness of being his is overwhelming but, so is the pain and sadness. Everything is amplified.

Crying everyday on the way home from the pain of being apart from him. Staring for hours into the dark, unable to sleep because I just want to stare at his face in my mind a little longer. The effects of his scent on my body. How his arms instantly quiet my anxiety. His love satiates me in a way I never thought existed. How the touch of anyone else makes me physically nauseated.

The pain of knowing he cannot be mine. Decimated by thoughts of anyone else's touch on his smooth skin, tasting his masterful kisses, or experiencing his dominance. I ache to be marked as his and mark him as mine in turn.

I am completely in love with someone I cannot have. It transcends to a level most would never understand. I love, cherish, honor, and serve only him. Even if he made the choice to never be mine...I will always be his.

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